


Lessons Learned

by Roucarnage



Category: Naruto
Genre: AU, Doggy Style, F/M, Genderbending, Headcanon, Kissing, Lemon, NSFW, One Shot, One-Sided Saso/Fem!Dei, Out of Character, PWP, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rare Pairings, Smut, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:33:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28311669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roucarnage/pseuds/Roucarnage
Summary: Deidara is fed up with Sasori ignoring her, so she decides to make him jealous by going after another Akatsuki member. Unfortunately for her, that is Zetsu.
Relationships: Zetsu/Fem!Deidara
Kudos: 7





	Lessons Learned

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, me again. Back on my bullshit but I still love this pairing. It'll always be my OTP. So enjoy this tailormade fiction for just me! Or whomever else may be into this pairing! Love ya!
> 
> Enjoy. 
> 
> p.s. no beta, too lazy to edit. Excuse any jank.

Deidara prided herself on having accomplished a lot of things in her nineteen years of life.

Graduated at age nine, promoted to chūnin at age ten and became Captain of the Explosive Corps. at eleven; credited as having the largest bounty as the youngest criminal in the bingo book (thanks to her grandfather), the Third Tsuchikage, Ōnoki); beautiful (egotistical but true) and lastly but most importantly, she was an artist; the best damn artist to have ever existed and no one could tell me otherwise.

She had accomplished so much, yet there was one thing she had yet to despite trying her damndest for the last two years: getting Akasuna-no-Sasori into bed with her. And when she said she had tried everything; she had tried _everything._

In the beginning, she tried hinting at it: “I’d like to have sex before I’m twenty, hn” or “Hidan had her first time with Kakuzu since they’re partners”. Nothing. She then tried flirting with him: “oh, you’re so handsome today, Sasori-no-Danna”. Nope. She tried baiting him by “accidentally” having him see her naked or “accidentally” having him walk in on her in the bathroom. Again, nothing! Finally, she tried asking him, not straight asking but instead asking him hypothetical questions like: “if we were the last two people on earth, would you sleep with me?” or “if you had to have sex with me to live, would you do it?”. Zero, zip, zilch, nada! Nothing!

At this point, she would’ve thought him gay or asexual if she didn’t know for a fact he was straight because he had sex with Orochimaru during their partnership. A lot of sex too, if Kisame’s testimony was to be trusted.

This left her with one last option: making him jealous. How would she do that? By flirting with and/or having sex with another Akatsuki member. Unfortunately, she had little to no selection with the other Akatsuki males.

Kakuzu, she imagined, would proceed like trying to employ a male prostitute. She’d have to pay up and considering she didn’t have a dollar to her name, that wasn’t happening. Oh, and Hidan would likely try to sacrifice her to Jashin if she learned the blonde was going after her partner so it was a no—and Kisame was a fat no. She was not having sexual relations with a man that had sex with a Uchiha—not a million years. So, that left two: Sir Leader and—Zetsu.

It wasn’t that she was worried that trying to flirt with and sleep with Sir Leader, a.k.a. her superior would have her terminated from the Akatsuki, (if it did then bonus points!), so much so as Konan. Once upon a time, Deidara had witnessed Konan get mad and she never wanted to experience her get mad again. If anything would get Konan mad like that again, it would be petitioning Sir Leader for sex. Nu-uh, no thank you, she chose life. Sir Leader was a nope too. So, all that left was Zetsu—fucking Zetsu.

What the fuck could she say about Zetsu that hadn’t been said before? He was the definition of creepy, he talked to himself because he was possibly two people? (yet to be determined) He ate people which in itself was the hugest turn off ever. Seriously, who the fuck wanted to make-out with a cannibal? Everything about him was a turn off and yet, he was her only pick.

If Deidara wanted a chance of getting Sasori to sleep with her, it may require her sleeping with Zetsu first. She prayed it didn’t have to go that far though.

First, she’d have to find him and Zetsu was an impossible person to find.

If he wasn’t the person they had to turn their mission into, then he didn’t exist. He had a bedroom at the headquarters, but he was never inside it and she had never seen him causally walking the house. He was like a ghost and catching him would be like trying to catch a shadow. Her best chance would be that he was the person they’d had to turn their assignment into during one of their upcoming missions.

It took her three months until she had that chance.

**…**

“I hate assassination missions, hn.” She grumbled, every inch of her was hurting after the mission went upside-down.

“Maybe if you were so fucken loud, that bastard wouldn’t have heard us comen an’ called a fucken army on us!” Sasori snarled, picking at a blood strain that had hardened in the fabric of his cloak.

“I’m not the one that gave us away, hn!”

“Your take on “assassination” was blasten his bloody head off!”

“And it killed him, hn!”

“An’ his men heard it over in the next country an’ swarmed us!”

She shrugged. “We’re survived, didn’t we?”

“Listen here you lil’ shit—” Sasori said, pointing a finger at her but before he could deliver her a castigation, a bizarre noise infiltrated their eardrums and a second later, a large shadow cloaked them. 

“Was the mission a success?” It was a Zetsu.

“It could’ve gone better.” Sasori claimed, glowering at Deidara as he pulled a blood-splattered scroll out of his pocket and chucked it at Zetsu as he and his partner went back to quibbling. It bounced off the cannibal’s flytrap and he let out an exasperated sigh while he gave the scroll on the ground a disappointed gaze.

During this, Deidara watched Zetsu over Sasori’s shoulder as the cannibal tried and failed to pick the scroll up, his flytrap in the way which was the equivalent of a pregnant woman with a belly. She snickered at his dilemma but then ceased when she remembered her little plan, having lapsed on it since it had been made three months ago. If she wanted to entice him, laughing at him wasn’t going to get her on his good side.

Sasori barked at her not to ignore him while he was talking to her, or in this case, yelling at her, as she stepped around him to where Zetsu continued to wrestle with the parchment. She picked it up and hesitantly held it out to him.

“Thank you, Deidara-san.” Zetsu said, extending an arm from between the teeth of his insectivorous plant-like shell and accepting it.

“Y-You’re welcome, hn.” She muttered, trying her hardest not to glance elsewhere since Zetsu wasn’t the easiest person to stare at. She’d have an easier time staring at a mutilated corpse than him.

In her attempt not to look away, she’d been staring intensely at Zetsu for the last minute, her brain having gone to lunch, and he politely cleared his throat. “Are you ok, Deidara-san? **What the hell are you staring for?** ” 

She blinked out of her stupefaction and blushed. “S-Sorry. Err…w-what’re you doing tonight, hn?” Zetsu piqued an eyebrow at her in reply to the out-of-blue question and she could practically hear Sasori mimicking him behind her.

“Oh, well, nothing. **Why?** ”

“W-Would you like to…have drinks, hn?” Zetsu’s eyebrows crinkled.

“I’m sorry, Deidara-san, but I do not drink.” Zetsu explained and she bleached, thinking she was about to get turned down by him—by fucking Zetsu. “But we can have tea.”

“T-That’ll be perfect, hn!” 

He smiled, a half-smile as only the left side of his lips picked up. “Then I’ll meet you tonight for tea.”

“O-Ok.”

Zetsu turned to Sasori. “I’ll take this scroll to Sir Leader and tell him of the mission’s success. Thank you, Sasori-san, Deidara-san.” With that, Zetsu left, dematerializing into the ground and disappearing.

It was once the schizoid left that Sasori lost it, crowing with laughter while clutching his abdomen. “D-Did you seriously just ask Zetsu out? _F-Fucken Zetsu_!?”

“Y-Yes, so!?” She snarled, whipping towards her cackling partner and glaring at him, blush darkening.

“Whatever floats your fucken boat, brat. Fuck me.” Sasori wiped the tears from his eye, still chuckling to himself as he walked off in the direction of the Akatsuki headquarters, leaving his partner, red-faced and disappointed.

That wasn’t how she expected Sasori to react to her brazenly asking out another man in front of him. While she didn’t know what she expected, in her head, she dreamt of a scene out of a romantic novel where he literally swept her off her feet and declared his undying love for then they fucked and lived happily ever after. But that hadn’t happened, nothing happened, again!

Defeated, Deidara stalked after her partner who thankfully left her be while they walked back to the Akatsuki headquarters, too occupied with snickering at her humiliation.

Maybe he wouldn’t be laughing if he lost his opportunity at being her first.

**…**

That night, Deidara was begrudgingly waiting for Zetsu in the kitchen for their tea “date”.

They hadn’t discussed what time was “tonight”, so she’d been lingering in the kitchen for the last hour, passing time by snacking on fruit from the bowl in the middle of the island and flicking the crumbs off the counter. Finally, after an hour, Zetsu entered stage left though it took her a minute to realize it was him.

“Hello, Deidara-san, sorry for making you wait.” Zetsu greeted her as he stepped up to the cabinets, searching through them for the teapot. She didn’t reply, too distracted as she stared at the man.

After putting the pot on to boil, Zetsu turned around towards her and noticed her obvious staring, quirking an eyebrow and his head at her. “Err…is something wrong, Deidara-san? **Why do you stare so much?** ”

“Where’s your…flytrap thing, hn?” She asked, indicating at him.

“Oh, it’s just a jutsu so I don’t activate it in the house.” He explained, glancing down at himself and brushing his hands over his uniform fishnet. “ **What, did you think that was part of me?** ”

“Yes.” She said instantaneously. She couldn’t be blamed for thinking that since the entire time she had been part of the organization, she had never once seen Zetsu without the flytrap. He was a lot smaller as in without it and had a more…human appearance? That was an overstatement.

“Oh, well, it isn’t.” He shrugged and just then, the pot started whistling so he turned to take it off the fire. “What tea would you like, Deidara-san?”

“Oh, umm…I like green tea, hn.”

Zetsu nodded, pouring two cups then putting green tea leaves in one and oolong in the other. He handed over her cup, which she did not thank him for though he ignored it as he seated himself in the chair beside her. They sat in awkward silence as we sampled their tea, hers being pleasantly tasty. It lasted a solid five minutes before Zetsu decided to interrupt it. “So, Deidara-san, how are you?”

“Horrible.” She uttered, staring at the green-tinted liquid in her cup.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. **Is it Sasori?** ”

“Yes.”

He made a gruff noise that sounded like a combination of a grunt and cough. “ **No surprise, he’s a douchebag.** How is your art developing?”

Deidara was surprised by this genuine question since no one had ever asked her about her art. Except Sasori but in order to criticize her. She was glad Zetsu hadn’t seated himself on her bad side, so she didn’t have to turn herself around in her chair to look at him. “Oh, it’s ok, hn. We’re going to go after the Shukaku soon so I’m developing a new C-3 bomb.”

“C-3? Is it powerful?”

“It’ll level Suna, hn.”

“ **Damn.** Your artwork is so impressive, Deidara-san.”

She was taken aback by this. “R-Really?”

Zetsu smiled, though it was a grotesque expression considering his canines. “Oh yes. You’re such a talented artist and I’ve always found your artwork to be beautiful and magnificent. You’re so passionate and your personality translates into your explosions. I love it.” Once Zetsu had finished his praising, Deidara was squirming in her chair, hands trying to disguise her feverish cheeks.

She wasn’t used to being complimented like that. Her entire, miserable life, she had heard nothing but ridicule by everyone; her teammates, her own grandfather, and Sasori, especially Sasori. So, to finally have a person give her kudos, it was too much. She didn’t know how the process it. If she was a weaker woman, she would’ve squealed like a fangirl meeting a celebrity. Sasori would’ve never said anything like that to her so if she gave Zetsu any plus over him, it would be that he had excellent taste in art.

Speaking of the devil, whoelse entered but Sasori himself, having been baited by the whistling teapot for free pre-made hot water since he was too impatient (or lazy) to heat his own. He noticed them, staring at Deidara then Zetsu and grimacing.

“Am I interrupten your lil’ date?” He inquired dryly.

“No—”

“Yes!” She barked over Zetsu’s tiny, “no”. From the corner of her eye, she saw Zetsu turn his head and deliver her a questioning look.

Sasori clicked his tongue, an obnoxious quirk of his that his partner hated. “I’ll be outta your way so you two can go back to maken out or whatever you were doen.” As he turned his back to them to make himself a cup of tea, it was then Deidara had an idea, a brilliant, horrible idea.

She turned in her chair to face Zetsu. He was in the middle of drinking his tea, paying no attention at her, but the moment the cup left his mismatched lips, she grabbed his face and smashed their lips into each other. She didn’t think, she just did it and experienced instant regret.

Kissing Zetsu itself wasn’t the bad part. Despite a bit of chapping, his lips were left warm from the hot tea, so it was a little pleasant. It was the realization itself of what she was doing that made it bad; the fact she was wasting her first kiss on _Zetsu_ and not Sasori. Oh, she didn’t ask when the last time he ate was so…fuck her. Sasori was on her bad side, so she couldn’t even see or hear his reaction. Just, the worst decision, but it got worse.

Zetsu had snaked his hand behind her head and buried his fingers in her blonde hair, pushing it so her lips pressed harder into his. It hurt as it pushed her teeth into the inside of her lips, pitching them, while the outside was bruising from how hard his pressed into them. She didn’t think it could get any worse than that, but then she felt the wet presence of his tongue nudging at her lower lip.

Instinctively, she gasped, parting her lips in the process and immediately, he plunged his tongue between them and into her mouth. She tried pulling back, but his hand was in the way. She had her hands on his face, so she next tried pushing his face back he only pulled her head with him, so it didn’t break apart their mouths. During which, his tongue hunted her own tongue that had been cowering in the back of her throat and brushed against it. As he did, it caused an electric shock to run through her into her belly, leaving her stupefied.

Now, Deidara had read a few romantic novels in her life, and in them, they always described an electric shock or seeing stars when kissing the “one”. She believed it before, when daydreaming of her first kiss being with Sasori, but there was no way in hell Zetsu was the “one” for her. It must be because this was her first kiss, that was it—a first kiss with Zetsu. Yuck.

Her thought process is interrupted, by a second zapping as he continued caressing her tongue, trying to coax it out to play. She refused but he wasn’t giving up and after a few seconds of this, she yielded, sheepishly sliding the organ against his. He replied by intertwining them together which made a shiver course downward to dubious places. He didn’t taste like blood or human flesh, whatever the latter tasted like, thank god, but instead, the slightest hint of his oolong tea. She liked oolong so it made it bearable. Fortunately, the kiss was cut off when Zetsu suddenly turned his head away as if distracted by something.

She didn’t look too as she panted. She didn’t realize she could breathe while kissing and hadn’t done so like an idiot. Once she caught her breath, she glimpsed at what he found so interesting and saw Sasori staring at them, steaming cup in hand and face gnarled into a disgusted cringe. Cue the embarrassment.

“Why don’t you two get a fucken room?” He heckled. Well, whatever embarrassment Deidara might’ve experienced was gone in an instant because if anything in that moment could outweigh her dignity, it was her bullheadedness. Challenge accepted.

“I’m sor—” Zetsu had started to say.

“Maybe we will, hn!” She interjected, making his jaw snap shut like a beartrap as she turned back to him, grabbing his hand. Like last time, she didn’t think, she just did it. Whatever it had to take to get a reaction out of Sasori. “Let’s go to your room, Zetsu.”

“Err…ok?”

She leapt down from her chair, glaring at Sasori as she exited the kitchen, hand in hand with Zetsu. The puppeteer just blankly stared back; an eyebrow quirked curiously. It was better than the nothing she had been getting out of him lately and due to that, she felt triumphant. Being so captivated by her little achievement, she hadn’t noticed Zetsu was pulling her along to his bedroom. It wasn’t until she heard a door shut behind her and realized she didn’t know where she was, since she had never been inside Zetsu’s bedroom, that it clicked with her that she fucked up. By then, it was too late.

Zetsu pushed her into the door, hard as it kicked the oxygen out of her lungs, lips crushing into hers and as she gasped for breath, his tongue pushed itself down her throat, making her gag on it. She tried pushing him off and turning her head to divorce their lips, but as she did, Zetsu growled. Not growled but snarled like a wild beast and instantly, she felt the colour drain out of her face. It was then she realized the extent of her fuck up.

Zetsu was obviously expecting sex out of her due to what she said to him and if that growling was any indication, he wasn’t taking no as an answer. Was…was he going to make her? She didn’t know the first thing about Zetsu so that was a real possibility. He could be the type of person that attacked people before and/or during eating them. Thinking of it made her literally sick as hot bile crept up the back of her throat that she thickly swallowed down, her throat clicking.

Deidara didn’t have her clay or kunais on her and while she prided herself at being talented at taijutsu, Zetsu was much larger and by his muscled arms, much stronger. She could scream but he’d probably tear her jugular out with his teeth. She hadn’t wanted to take it this far, but she had like the dumbass Sasori said she was and now, she was paying the price. She had two options: either push him off and pray he didn’t make the choice to attack and/or murder her, or just have sex with him and not be attacked and/or murdered.

Zetsu pressed his lips back into hers and she made the split-second decision to hesitantly kiss him back. This pleased him as he purred, tilting his head sideways in order to deepen the exchange. His tongue brushed her lips, this time asking for entrance instead of welcoming itself inside. After a moment, she begrudgingly granted it, parting them and permitting it to slide between them. He found her timid tongue, hiding again, and weaved his own wet muscle around it. Like last time, it ignited a spark that traveled through her, causing her leg to twitch. It felt like she was licking a light socket.

During the kiss, his hand buried itself in her hair again, much to her irritation since she hated having her hair touched with how much time and consideration she put into it. Thankfully due all that time dedicated on it, it was like pure silk, so his fingers didn’t have any tangles to catch onto it as he slid them through the golden strands. As he did it over and over again, it started to feel good as she unconsciously leant her head into his hand. He replied by massaging his fingertips against her scalp which felt better, and an accidental moan slipped out. He chuckled against her lips and she flushed, opening her eyes to glare at him but he didn’t notice since his were closed—or at least, one was.

He separated their lips and brushed her blonde fringe behind her ear, exhibiting her other eye, her blind eye. She tried to flick her hair back, as she was self-conscious of it since it was a handicap, but he kept it back with his hand and leant his head down onto her bad side. She didn’t have any idea as to what he was doing since along with not being able to see him, she also couldn’t hear him as Deidara was also deaf on her left side. So, once she felt something wet and warm slide over her ear though, she could’ve leapt out of her skin.

Her ear was extraordinarily sensitive, since she was deaf in it, and having him lick it was torture, delicious, delicious torture. She mewled like a kitten, tilting her head against her shoulder to make a getaway from his tongue but it did little. He turned his head after, continuing to drag his tongue over the shell of her ear, circling the hearing devices installed within and making it moist and as his hot breath fanned it, she hated it, but she moaned. This must’ve encouraged him, because he lapped at her earlobe, flicking it with his tongue then taking it into his mouth, pinching and scrapping it with the points of his teeth which should’ve hurt but it didn’t—oh no it didn’t. In seconds, she was trembling against him, whimpering and moaning as he “ate out” her ear.

Her knees were buckling and as she straightened herself up, she hugged her thighs together, causing a pleasurable spike to originate between them. Was Zetsu seriously turning her on right now with this? No, it wasn’t him, it was the fact she was a virgin and she had never been touched like this, that was all. This was her hill and she was going to die on it, damnit!

By the time he relinquished her ear, she was flushed, panting and drooling like a damned dog. She tried hiding it, turning her face from him but as she lifted her hand to sponge up the spittle with her sleeve, he caught her wrist. She flinched but quickly noticed it was a gentle grasp so she could easily pull away from him if she wanted to but for one reason or another, she didn’t. He proceeded to lick up the saliva, trailing his tongue to her lips and pushing past them. This time, she didn’t fight him and greeted his tongue in the pathway of their mouths.

Surprisingly, this kiss was a lot better than the others. she couldn’t explain why but as his tongue invited hers to dance, each brush and touch made a warmth develop in her stomach; a warmth that translated into her underwear. She was wet and as she adjusted herself, that wetness smeared onto her thighs making them stick together. Fuck. she prayed Zetsu didn’t hear it. She wasn’t supposed to be enjoying this, damn it!

The semi-passionate kiss ended and without an explanation, he grabbed her shoulders and flipped her around, sandwiching her between him and the wooden door. Deidara opened her mouth to demand what he was doing, but she didn’t have the chance as his hot mouth affixed itself to her neck. Instead, she gasped as he suckled on it. That was going to leave a horrible hicky but her brain didn’t have the capability to get mad over it because as he did this, he started grinding into her, pressing her hips into the door and making her painfully conscious of how hypersensitive she was.

She prohibited herself from letting him onto how aroused she was though, biting onto the inside of her lips. However, as he continued to buck into her and thus into the door, it became harder and harder to remain quiet. After awhile of this, she let out a hushed moan, thinking it quiet enough that Zetsu wouldn’t hear it. He must’ve though because he growled again and pushed her harder into the door, borderline humping her against it like an animal in heat and increasing the suckage on her flesh to the point she could hear the tiny popping of blood vessels.

His arm wrapped around her waist, so her pelvis wasn’t pulverized into the wood but the downside to that was losing the pleasurable friction. In its place, he pushed his hand down into her sweatpants, past her underwear and she let out the loudest, surprised moan as he cupped her. His callous fingers glided over her clit and teased the lips of her sex, lubricated by her own wetness and if it wasn’t for the door or Zetsu himself supporting her, she would’ve melted to the ground as her legs mimicked gelatin.

Finally, he divided his jowls from her neck, stating so with a wet popping that left the red and purple bruised flesh dripping with salvia. He lapped up the excess spittle from the hicky before burying his face into her neck, inhaling her intoxicating scene as he kept bucking into her, purring at the fabric of his jeans scraping pleasantly against his rock hard erection; an erection whose intimidating presence Deidara felt being kneading into her backside. He tweaked her clit between his fingers, and she flinched.

Suddenly, he had her turned around and his lips smashed into hers, his tongue not asking but pillaging her cavern with his tongue and abused her own. So occupied with the aggressive transaction, she failed to notice he was navigating them towards his bed until she felt her back landing on the mattress. When she tried straightening herself, Zetsu leant heavily over her with his hands planted on either side of her head, weighing her down. Immediately, her stomach plummeted.

Despite how horny she may be in the moment; she hadn’t lost sight of her original goal. She was just trying to make Sasori jealous, not fuck Zetsu! However, it didn’t look like she had a choice in the manner. Especially, as she felt one of his hands sliding underneath the band of her pants, pushing them down along with her underwear as they traveled down the length of her legs. He nuzzled his face into her neck, a grumbling like that of a purr emitting from his throat as he pushed against her, chafing her womanhood with the harsh material of his pants. Maybe she should say something. Maybe she should scream?

And scream she did, as in the brief timeframe she was analyzing her options, Zetsu had unzipped his pants and just as she felt the presence of a large, throbbing mass nudging her, he was inside her—and it _hurt_. Thank god she was wet because if just this was excruciating, she didn’t want to imagine how it would’ve felt if she wasn’t wet. She didn’t understand why but him pulling out hurt worse than him pushing back in. It just did.

The schizoid bellowed like a rutting bull, overshadowing whatever pained mewling she made. Every thrust he hammered into her levered her hips and crunching her over so all she could do was grapple onto him while huffing and puffing in his ear. She was going to be disappointed if she didn’t have abs after this.

Thankfully, Zetsu hadn’t taken off his pants, just opened his fly so the denim rise of his jeans was scrapping against her clit with each thrust and it was helping by gifting her with minimal pleasure through the pain. If it wasn’t for that, she wasn’t sure when she would’ve felt good in it, if at all. She must’ve uttered a pleased noise of a type that the cannibal picked up on, because his haphazard thrusting became swallow and terse, focused more on depth than speed which massaged her aching inner walls. She moaned and surprised herself with how genuine it was. Finally, this sex was starting to feel…well, like sex.

Pleased, Zetsu purred again and nestled his face into her neck, teasing the pale skin between the points of his canines while a hand traced her creamy thigh and the other played with the golden strands split over the bedspread like gold in cracked pottery. It was bizarrely intimate, far more intimate than Deidara would’ve ever thought with Zetsu with all people, but she wasn’t bitching. It was better than being fucked like a dollar store whore on clearance.

He was as thick as he was long, so it wasn’t hard for him to push all the right buttons inside her, a process she guided him through by the subtle squeezing and nudging of her legs until he was lined up just perfectly. Once he had her moaning and eager, did he go back to pumping into her helter-skelter not unlike a fucking animal. A process only further likened to as he pushed off of her momentarily, only so to turn her over onto her belly before mounting her again; hands snatching her thighs to keep them parted and canines scuffing her. Deidara hated to say how much she liked this, but she liked this, so, so much.

The new angle made it so he was pummeling her cervix and everything in between while her clitoris rubbed pleasantly against the mattress with each buck into her. Maybe that was his intention or maybe it was coincidence. Whatever it was, he had her moaning and mewling, thrashing and struggling. This only egged on his alpha side as he snarled, hands bruising her thighs and jaws clamping harder onto the back of her neck as if trying to immobilize her. It wasn’t that she was trying to escape him; it was just that level of white-hot pleasure that left you writhing.

Her first orgasm was weak, teased out of her by external simulation. By the time she had noticed it, was gone, leaving a warm, fuzzy feeling in her loin in its wake. However, it succeeded in leaving her sensitive and tight; a fact Zetsu too noted as her walls clamped down on him wetly and inspired him to ram into her harder, targeted perfectly into her g-spot. It wasn’t long until her next climax came, fast and furious, and this was going to be the big one, that she could tell. He must’ve felt it too, because the way he was fucking her didn’t leave any chance of denying it. When it came—or she came—it was in seconds and Deidara made an unintelligible noise between a yell and a groan, hands snarled in the blanket and muscles convulsing. Zetsu didn’t let up, fucking her through it so it lasted on, and on, and _on._ She couldn’t it was just one or in fact, multiple.

Once it felt like the end, she was immediately blindsided by the next though as Zetsu came, emptying into her and the warm wetness of his ejaculation splashing her cervix and walls made her cum too. He pumped weakly into her, leading them through both of their orgasms and once he had finished his, he extracted his canines from the scruff of her neck and lapped at the bruised skin. Amazingly, he hadn’t punctured the skin. He pushed himself up onto his hands and as he pulled out, Deidara thought she may’ve wet herself from the mass measure of his seed that came gushing out of her.

“So…” Zetsu spoke after giving himself a moment to gain his breath. “Do you think it worked?”

“Huh?” Deidara grumbled, not quite understanding the question as she was still empty-headed after having her brains fucked out.

“In making Sasori jealous,” He clarified, and she turned her head to stare at him, ghastly white. To this, he huffed. “I’m not stupid, Deidara-san, despite what you and others may think. **I know you did all this to get your precious partner to fuck you**.”

“I-I…”

“Whatever. It doesn’t matter to me. I got what I wanted.” As he said this, he pushed two black fingers inside her and causing yet more of his cum to flush out down her thighs. She shuddered.

“Y-You used me!?”

“You used me. **We used each other, sunshine** ,” His black half quipped smugly and extracted his fingers, wiping them off on her leg before fixing his pants. “Now I ask you leave. I’m sure you want to tell your dear Danna all about this, anyway.”

As much as she wanted to bark and berate at him for using her for sex, she felt too disgusted to do so in that moment and it was like he said, she had used him, so he used her. Instead, she gathered herself, pulling up her underwear and pants and shuffled past him towards the door, eyes downcasted to her bare feet. Once in the hallway, it was practically slammed behind her, hitting her in the process and she leapt away, cradling her stinging butt and glaring at the shut door. She then took the walk of shame back to her bedroom. Thankfully, not meeting anyone else halfway.

Sasori was at his desk, as he always was, and upon hearing her entrance, he put down the puppet part he had been tinkering with to turn in his chair to face his miserable looking partner, that smugass smirk ever present on his face.

“Bloody hell, brat. I didn’t think you were gonna do it.” He said.

She paled. “Y-You heard that, hn…?”

“Did I hear it? The whole blimey base heard you two! I knew you were desperate but goddamn, I didn’t think you _that_ desperate.” He chuckled.

She didn’t say anything else, just slinking off into the bathroom for a badly needed shower while the redhead laughed and laughed at her expense.

Needless to say, Deidara learned an important lesson that day, that being: don’t use people for personal gain and Zetsu was sex god—and she wasn’t sure which one she regretted learning the hard way more.


End file.
